


Kitchen Troubles

by thesoravee



Series: Short!Reader/Monster [1]
Category: Original Work, expohilia - Fandom
Genre: Cussing, Exophilia, F/M, Human/Monster Romance, M/M, No Smut, Other, Short!Reader, Teratophilia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-24 23:54:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22006519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesoravee/pseuds/thesoravee
Summary: You just wanted to surprise your dragon boyfriend with a homemade chili dinner.Too bad you have to climb on your kitchen counter like a monkey to do so. Damn your height.
Relationships: Human/Monster - Relationship, Reader/Dragon, Reader/Monster, human/dragon - Relationship
Series: Short!Reader/Monster [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1584067
Comments: 6
Kudos: 88





	Kitchen Troubles

**Author's Note:**

> Uhhhh, yay? I'm not dead? School and personal life have absolutely drained me, so I haven't been too active...anywhere, really. But, hey, I've got some new stuff, I suppose.
> 
> Oh, and, the following fic is gender-neutral. I also didn't wanna describe the dragon (besides him having wings and being able to breathe fire) in the event people wanted to imagine what he looked like. Same deal with his name.
> 
> Enjoy!

Standing on the tips of your toes, cheeks red and puffed in a frustrated pout, you viciously glared to the nemesis that _dared_ to challenge you:

The container of chili powder in the top cabinet.

Being someone who was, one would say, _vertically-challenged_ , it was difficult—agonizing— _fucking annoying_ to traverse your own house space at times. Normally, you would have climbed your kitchen counter to grab an item from the cabinets that were above your normal reach, but as your kitchen was currently, with ingredients splayed about the counter and macaroni noodles coming to a boil on the hot stove? No thanks. You were not in the mood for third-degree burns. Or, _any_ burns, really. So, you were in for some tricky navigation, lest you land yourself a trip to the emergency room. Huffing, you swung a leg on top of the counter and hoisted yourself onto it, delicately balancing your weight between your legs.

Aw, who were you kidding, kitchens have been akin to jungle gyms since you were a wee child. You were used to this type of improvisation by now.

Now standing on the counter (which was almost as tall as _you_ were) you just had to avoid the piping hot stove and the steam coming from the pot of boiling noodles. Wouldn't be such a big deal if the cabinet you needed to get into wasn't right over your damn stove. Biting into your lip, and outstretching your arm, you opened your middle cabinet and began to move other kitchen ingredients out of the way. Some cornbread mix, a box of pancake batter—aha! There! You smiled to yourself, before feeling a frown immediately replace it as a realization hit you: the chili powder was situated near the back of the cabinet.

…Y'know what? Screw this. Maybe you should get a home that's more optimized for your short stature. The cabinets would be at reasonable heights, you could actually see more than half of your face in the bathroom mirror—

After reaching into the cabinet space, you cursed under your breath, with spindly, clumsy fingers accidentally knocking the packet of chili _further_ back into the cabinet. Dammit, you should've brought your tongs.

—but no, you just _had_ to date some seven-foot dragon man who wasn't physically able to be in a smaller home. Normally, he would retrieve tall objects for you, but you wanted to make this chili for him as a surprise. Your boyfriend _better_ appreciate your sacrifice—

"...How long have you been at this, _monakmat_?" a deep voice rumbled from behind you, causing you to spin around and lose your footing off the counter-top. You shut your eyes in anticipation of the impending impact of the floor, only to be caught in the arms of your dragon man. From sheer instinct, his pupils shrank and his wings stretched outwards somewhat as he caught you. He huffed a few times, soft puffs of smoke billowing from his nostrils, before he sighed and held you close. With your face pressed to the bottom of his sternum, you felt like a child being smothered by an overprotective parent.

"I'm glad I arrived when I did…You humans are so delicate; that would have been one nasty fall."

You pouted somewhat, simultaneously thankful and disappointed by his presence. On one hand, you didn't bust your head open from the fall, but on the other hand, your surprise was ruined (also, your fall was _caused_ by him…!). You didn't anticipate he would return home at this time, unfortunately. His eyes—actually quite soft for a dragon—stared at you, before glancing to the obstacle course you called your kitchen. His gaze surveyed the pot of boiling noodles, the utensils and ingredients splayed about the counter, and the other cooking ingredients knocked over inside the cabinet, save for the chili packet. He sighed with a small chuckle, before speaking again.

"Now, do you need he—"

"No. I've _got_ this," you cut him off with a commanding tone. That chili powder won't get the last laugh! Chest puffed confidently, you began your ascent once more. This time, you retrieved your tongs, smirking as you clicked them twice in your hand.

Below you, your boyfriend watched in amusement, tail gently swishing back and forth like a dog's. The end of his tail dragged across the floor tiles, producing a small series of clicks over the material. A while back, he told you he thought humans were cute; they were shorter and softer than dragons, and best of all, _warm_ for the cold-blooded beasts. And with your own small stature, even for human standards? God, you were _adorable._

"Well, if you insist. At the very least, I get to enjoy a view of your backside, _monakmat~"_

Rolling your eyes at the remark, you balanced on your toes and prepared to retrieve the chili packet. With the added length of the tongs extending your reach, you guided the clasping end near the stubborn packet. A few more inspirational clicks, two or three more jabs at the packet, and— _finally!_

The tongs clamped onto the packet, and your heart beat excitedly. Quickly, and maintaining a strangling grip on the tongs, you retrieved the chili powder with your hand, giddily smiling as the packet rested in your palm. Your surprise was ruined by this point, but it didn't matter, because you. Were. TRIUMPHANT. Your heart swelled with pride and you turned to your dragon man with a haughty smirk.

"Toldja I got it. Now I just…hafta get…down…"

…Oh yeah, that's right. Your descent. Hm. You didn't account for this.

You and your boyfriend stared at one another—pondering meeting amusement—as you mulled over your options. You could try to clear the counter-space by moving the cooking utensils and ingredients with your feet, but no one wants someone else's feet touching their food. Hm…Maybe you could sit on the counter and descend that way? No, no, 'cause that leads back to the issue of moving any items out of the way. Now that you think, you might even be able to ask your boyfriend if—

Wait a minute. Your boyfriend. You could…

A dangerous sneer crossed your face, which served to make your dragon man raise a scaly brow of concern. After a small calculation, you leapt off the counter-top. Once more, your boyfriend rushed to your aid, arms catching you bridal-style, and your tongs fell to the floor with a _clang_. Unlike the last time he saved you, however, his eyes blazed with a seething glare, burning a hole into you as you childishly giggled from your imbecilic stunt.

"That— _That_ was on purpose!" he spat, sharp teeth bared in your direction. " _Why_ , in the name of _Akatosh_ , would you jump from the counter!? _Navkutol ahgiuur, monakmat!_ If I weren't here, you would have—!"

"But you caught me, didn't you? Besides, it isn't my fault our place isn't short people-friendly," you replied, and planted a kiss under the dragon's muzzle to diffuse his anger. Before long, he huffed audibly, then proceeded to nuzzle your neck. All the while, a possessive growl bellowed from his throat, vibrating gently onto your skin. You laughed softly from the sensation, before you felt him glance up. Almost immediately, he sheepishly looked down to you, stating:

"Ah, if I may, _monakmat_ , your food seems to have boiled over."

**Author's Note:**

> Skyrim reference, anyone?


End file.
